“The best way to get kids to read a book is to say: ‘This book is not appropriate for your age, and it has all sorts of horrible things in it like sex and death and some really big and complicated ideas, and you’re better off not touching it until you’re all grown up. I’m going to put it on this shelf and leave the room for a while. Don’t open it.”— Philip Pullman (via abookblog)
SO - Carrie made a comment in a video that hurt abuse victims. I contacted her with the two tweets below, and then wrote a tumblr post explaining why that language was harmful. That was all I did.
What happened next was a barrage of nasty tweets calling me a bully, sad, twisted, someone with a ‘vendetta’, someone with an ulterior motive - all because I asked her to accept that her language was harmful and apologise for it. At no point was I mean. At no point was I aggressive. I was getting emails and tweets and messages from victims of rape and abuse who had been made to feel terrible by what Carrie had said, and yet I was told that if I ‘really cared’ about abuse victims I would never have ‘attacked’ Carrie for what she had said in that video.
It is not attacking somebody to say ‘hey, you did a problematic thing, you should accept that it was harmful and apologise for it’. It is not an attack to calmly explain why somebody’s language was harmful and ask them to take responsibility. It IS an attack when you go out of your way to try to hurt people - which is what quite a lot of Carrie’s fans (and oddly enough her mother) have been doing to me over the past couple of hours.
All because I saw that abuse victims were upset and hurt by Carrie’s language, and I asked her to realise this and apologise.
This isn’t the kind of thing that upsets me, mainly because I’m used to getting ‘hate’ when I stand up for what I believe in and also because I’ve had so many amazing and heartbreaking and just generally overwhelming messages from people over the last couple of hours. Funnily enough I really dislike any kind of conflict and I get no pleasure whatsoever from arguing with people, but some things are too important, and your messages have reaffirmed that. Basically … you guys are the best. Cool.
Edit: It also turns out that actual abuse and rape victims have been getting nasty messages from Carrie’s fans. Unbelievably awful. I’m so, so sorry for all the ridiculous shit you get put through after already enduring so much.
I think y’all know about my shitty experiences with disagreeing with Carrie Fletcher on the internet but this mindless attacking of anyone who disagrees with something she says is getting really out of hand.
I used to think that calling people out in the public forum of the internet was just ‘creating drama’ but tbh that mindset is what lets a lot of people with a big internet following get away with really problematic behaviour - up to and including actual sexual abuse. I’m with Lex in that I freakin’ hate conflict and hate that I seem to be consistently in the middle of it, but if what I’m doing helps even one more person to not feel like shit in the face of this gross rape apologist, victim-blaming culture, then I’ll keep doing it.
I hope you’re all okay, friends. You’re all great.
Jimmy: What should you do if you feel pressured within a relationship to maybe have sex, or to send explicit pictures, or to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with? Carrie: It’s about having the confidence and the self-esteem and the self-respect to say ‘I don’t want this’, ‘I don’t wanna do this.’
I thought I heard my phone ring in the next room but decided to be lazy and let it go to voicemail and then I agonized about how lazy that decision was for like a solid minute before realizing that I was literally holding my phone and I had imagined it ringing
Mary Jones takes pride in the neatly tucked corners of her bed and the spotless countertops of her kitchen in the small efficiency apartment she calls home in northern New Jersey. A little sign next to the front door reminds her: “Success starts with a single step!”
Born partially blind and with cerebral palsy, Jones savors the independence of living on her own with just weekly visits from an aide. So when she was offered work at a local Goodwill charity store in the fall of 2012, Jones said, she looked forward to the independence of a job. But the reality was much different.
“They had me downstairs in their store, trying to hang clothes up on the hangers,” Jones said. “And to make a dollar, I had to hang a hundred pieces. If I was lucky, I made 50 cents. It was a penny per item of clothing. I felt worthless. I just didn’t want to go. They made me feel bad because I couldn’t work fast enough.” Jones is not using her real name out of a fear of retribution.
desperately want to audit an MIT seminar next semester but it’s a credit/non class? but on the other hand I would be taking 5.75 credits if I took it for credit?? but also credit nons especially not at wellesley are hella easy??? but also there’s no real benefit to taking a course credit/ non versus auditing because I won’t get a gpa bump either way so I may as well audit since I don’t need the credit???? but if I audit will I have incentive to show up when it’s like a 45 min trip each way????? but I’ve wanted to take an MIT class since day one and this is my last chance?????? BUT
I always mix up ASOIAF and TFIOS so I’ll read a post tagged TFIOS saying “I hate Gus he’s so pretentious” and be like “who the fuck is Gus? Which house is he? Is he a Frey? A Lannister? From across the narrow sea? Is he dead yet?”
I'm looking at going to Wellesley next fall but I really don't want to start liking girls or anything...I'd just feel uncomfortable changing and potentially living with a room mate who was into girls
One of the things about coming to college is learning to adapt to new experiences.
Wellesley is a traditionally women’s school. That means that most students identify as women. That means that (just like at any other school) there will be students who are sexually attracted to other women.
I came from the south and pretty homophobic parents so I say from experience that prior to college I had never met a female-identified lady-lover my own age before, but my very first best friend at Wellesley happened to be a lesbian. Certainly I had a lot of questions, as any curious person does when faced with a new experience/culture/ etc. But I was respectful.
If your roommate is into girls, and you are not, it is perfectly okay! If your roommate is into you and you’re not, she will certainly pick up on your uninterested vibes and not embarrass herself.
But one important thing to note is that Wellesley will not, does not make people start liking girls. Some people come to Wellesley confident in their sexuality; some come open minded, experiment, and decide girls aren’t their cup of tea, or maybe they are. Some come scared and unaware of what it means to be queer and discover that queer people are no different from straight ones and just as fun to hang around. However, one of the things we love about Wellesley is that it is a diverse campus, a welcoming campus. Being roomed with someone of a differing sexual orientation from yourself will not be reason for you to change rooms. Your roommate could become a best friend; or just be someone you see every day like a sibling; but whatever your relationship, it should be cordial, on both ends.
*puts a whole fucking onion in my mouth* see, it’s a metaphor. i could accidentally bite down at any moment and cry like a little bitch, but im not giving it the power to make me cry like a little bitch. a metaphor.
All recent Bioware titles have allowed fans to romance specific supporting non-player characters within the games. While Dragon Age: Inquisition will continue the trend, the developer is improving the mechanic to create a larger variety of outcomes. For example, it was revealed that the way each romance unfolds can be very different. This can result in standard love affairs or even more comedic pairings.
Think of each type of romance in Dragon Age: Inquisition as a different kind of movie with every possible way that the love can unfold in the game is like a different genre. Depending upon how players choose to interact with different love interests, they may see the story unfold like a pure love story, a romantic comedy, or even somewhat like a buddy action movie. Of course, should fans not want to romance anyone, the option remains to fully skip the romance system.